Learn “Sign” Language

Listening is an important skill, for it is in listening that you learn a lot.  We have all heard the old saying that goes something along the lines of “listen twice as much as you speak” I would like to take that saying one step further by adding, “In listening you learn a lot, but in reading the signs (actions) of others you learn so much more”.

The sign language in this instance doesn’t require you to be deaf or have the inability to speak, it DOES however, require you to speak less, listen more, and watch the sign language of others.

We all have a “representative”, you know, the person we send out on a daily basis to meet and greet new people, co-workers, the world.  We meet a person, they look and sound great, we immediately think, this is someone I should connect with and we set out making that happen.  We immediately rush into becoming partners, couples, or girlfriends, based upon a first impression, and unfortunately more times than not we end up regretting our look-before-you-leap actions, when the signs were there all the time.

Do any of these “signs” look familiar to you?

• Do you have relationships where you are consistently giving more than you receive, and the return on your investment is now in the red? Hmmm, sign approaching.

• He says he spiritual (Man of God-In my Bishop T.D. Jakes voice) and he’s looking to build a relationship on a solid holy foundation.  The more comfortable he becomes with you as a single woman, the more he expects you to do all kinds of things that are anything but holy …THAT my friend is a sign, that even the late Ray Charles could see.

• You are always on the receiving end of someone else’s problems, and when it is your turn to confide in that person .. well lookey there, the timer on the stove goes off, or someone is on the other line, and he or she “has got to go”?  I wish I could make it flash but … IT’S A SIGN

• You are the supporter but never supported.  Do you attend all your friends events, partners outings, but something conveniently comes up with your event/thing is about to take place? Perhaps this is another sign that you have overlooked.

As my grandmother used to say “wait a while, and before long, her slip will be hanging”, which translates to, take some time to get to know someone, get past their representative, and know a little more about the core of the person as it relates to you, and the type of relationship you are trying to establish.  At some point during your getting-to-know-you stage, his or her true motives will always shine through, it is then incumbent upon YOU to act accordingly.

I would be remiss, if I didn’t include a well known quote from one of my favorite authors, Maya Angelou “The first time  someone shows you who they are, believe them”.  Notice it reads, SHOWS YOU … pay attention to the signs.

Until then … BE

VanB